a quiet darkness
by Scar.Of.Sun
Summary: Nobody wants to die too fast — "No one is going to touch them" — but it only takes one step — "RUN!"— and it's over. Let the nightmare begins for Beata Jaeger. [OC Self Insert]
1. stuck on the ground

_a quiet darkness_

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin**

* * *

**Vogel im Käfig — Attack on Titan OST**

* * *

_UNAN_

* * *

It's terrifying when you understand that no one cares about you.

« Mom! Mom! MOM! OPEN THE DOOR! »

It hurts.

« GO AWAY! _GO AWAY!_

We find ourselves outside. We look at the bags that our own mom has thrown away by the window of our room— bags who almost explode our skull. We tighten our fists, we loosened them. Raise the palm of our hand on our quivering lip and then we mope.

(_Mom I love you. You love me—you're supposed to love me, right?)_

And we turn around, bend down to grab our bags and then, we hear an obscene laugh. We look back, our eyes widen and then we are on the floor.

Later, when the neighbors went to the police station they couldn't say if it was the bedside lamp or the head of their young neighbor crashing on the concrete who was louder.

* * *

_DAOU_

* * *

There was an unbearable howl. Nonstop.

["Her name is Beata. Beata Jäger."

"Give her to me, Carla. You need to rest now."]

Everything was fuzzy. Nothing was clear. The only constant thing was that howl, these tears, these hiccups, the fresh air and these hands who were too hot, too hasty, and too burdensome.

And those voices.

["Come on, eat for mommy, Beata."

"Oh, she is so sweet!"

"Someone make her shut up, please!"

"It's your first child?"

_"Be_–a–_ta_!"]

Beatabeatabeatabeata

And there was this heavy thing. Heavy heavy and so suffocating.

_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_

It was always reverberating.

The pain was always there. So steady that there wasn't really pain. Just numbness. A lethargic state.

* * *

_TRI_

* * *

.

Beata was a strange child.

Carla was often afraid.

("Could she be haunted by Titans?"

A whisper in the in the dead of night.

"No Carla."

A tired answer.)

There was different days in the household where most of the time Carla resided and her first born. Or even different hours.

Beata was a very difficult child to understand.

Every morning, Carla was scared to get up.

.

Carla put her daughter on her baby chair and sat down on the opposite chair. She was unsure of herself. With trembling hands, she grabbed a spoon and opened the jar of baby puree. She took a spoonful and then turned her brown eyes toward her daughter. Her mind was filled with hesitation.

It was at this time of the day, when the sun was just rising and when the noises of the city began to e heard that Carla knew what kind of day she will be facing.

The child was already staring at her with her baby blue eyes.

Carla gulped and moved the spoon closer to mouth of Beata.

The child ate without flinching.

_So_, today will be a quiet day. Normally.

Carla never laid her eyes above the nose of her child. She knew full well that she will only meet the gaze of the two months old child.

As she began the fifth spoonful, Beata shut her mouth.

Frowning, Carla insisted. She pushed on her daughter's lip with the spoon. The child remained with her mouth shut.

She heart a snort.

Carla looked up, wide eyed, and was horrified to see that the eyes who were attentive one second before were now closed. All facial muscles relaxed and the second after tears started to flow down on Beata's reddening cheeks. A loud wail pierced Carla's ears.

The new born began to move arms and legs in all directions. And, while Beata was inhaling to scream louder, Carla remained frozen on her seat.

_Cling_

The spoon fell on the floor, splattering the ground with puree. Carla remained with her eyes shut.

_I'm scared I'm scared what am I supposed to do? what am I supposed to do? what am I doing wrong? Huh? Why me? Why my daughter? why? I'm scared I'm scared I'm petrified what do I do?_

_I want it to stop! I want it to stop!_

_Please, make it stop I've had enough! I've had enough!_

Carla's nails dug like claws in her apron.

Mother and child were like a Mirror of each other. The mother sobbed quietly while the child sobbed to the entire world.

.

There were two Beata: the crying, moaning, hollering, fidgeting all day long and the other who did not move, made no sound and was always following Carla with her eyes. The second Beata rarely surfaced.

. .

"I thought I heard noises in your home, Frau Jaeger. Is everything alright?"

"Oh yes!" laughed sheepishly Carla. "Everything's alright, there's no need to worry! It's just Beata who has trouble sleeping at night," she admitted, looking at the floor and rubbing her fingertips to the skin of her reddening cheek. "Oh, and did you know that the Smiths are going to welcome a nephew of Sina Wall in their house?"

Wide eyed, the neighbor began to ask more information. She was very surprised that she hadn't heard the news sooner.

Carla Jäger continued to smile pleasantly.

"Really? It' not a daily thing that someone changes District and _change Wall_! I've never heard of that!"

.

"Grisha! She doesn't stop crying and screaming! It's been three hours!"

Carla's eyes were wide with terror. Her trembling fingers were clinging to her husband's arm who had just come home with the strength of despair the arm.

Grisha's face took a dark turn. He stared at the staircase leading to the first floor. His eyes becoming dark with secrets thoughts. He adjusted his grip on his medical suitcase.

"Carla. Let go of my arm."

Carla let her arms returned to her sides. She took a step back, her teeth sinking anxiously into the tender flesh of her lower lip.

"I'm going upstairs. Do not move from here, do you understand?"

Carla nodded and followed her husband with her eyes. Hands clasped and resting on her chest she waited.

A minute later, the household was silent. Half hour later, Carla heard the creaking of the old wooden staircase. She wiped her wet hands on her apron and turned to the kitchen entrance.

Her heart contracted a painful way when Grisha appeared in her vision. He stopped right where a ray of sunshine lit up the room. His glasses reflected the light, she couldn't see Grisha's eyes.

"Don't go to see her. She fell asleep."

Carla opened her mouth, ready to ask for more details to her husband but he silenced her with a look.

Her lips attached themselves without a sound.

"I'm leaving. I will come back tomorrow. In the afternoon, I think."

"Okay."

A whisper.

Grisha sighed and walked toward her.

She raised her shining brown eyes who took a gold color with the light. He concluded that she has been crying. Again.

He kissed her his wife's forehead.

"Stop worrying so much. It's okay, now."

She swallowed her tears and nodded.

He closed the front door behind him. She watched him do so. Again.

.

Every night, Carla awoke to the sounds of hysterical crying and wailing.

[Dark circles appeared under her eyes only one week after Beata was born. Grisha would every time looked at it whenever he returned from his travels. He never said a word about it.]

The night of the fourth month of Beata, Carla woke up with a start. She quickly got to her feet.

She heard no noise. There was only her shallow breathing.

A frown marred her face

Her eyelids were heavy. She blinked to wake herself up.

She crossed the room without worrying about not walking on a plank floor which had a tendency to crack loudly—

_the other half of the bed was empty_

— and went out into the dark hallway.

_Ouhou. Ouhou. Ouhou._

The owl was here again. Like every other night.

Sometimes it feels like this howl was her only companion in this difficult period of her life.

She took a deep breath and exhaled.

Slowly, Carla lowered the door handle and pushed the door open. Very Slowly.

She held her breath. She blinked to try to adjust her eyes to the darkness of Beata's room

"Mm...mmmmh...mmm!"

The stifled groans from the cradle made Carla's heartbeat go wild.

She took a step forward.

_Boom boom boom boom boom_

And another.

_Boom boom boom boomboomboom_

Until she reaches the cradle.

Slowly, fearing that anything just to break the stillness of the room, Carla put her hand on the edge of the cradle and lowered her brown eyes on her daughter's body.

"Mmmm ... MMMM!"

Behind Beata's eyelids Beata, Carla saw the agitation was going on.

Beata's small fists were twitching. Opened then closed again.

Her almost nonexistent eyebrows were furrowed and her tiny mouth was pinched in a pout.

She looked like she was having a nightmare.

_Boomboomboomboomboomboom_

Carla tightened her grip on the cradle's iron bar, staring wordlessly at Beata's head who was shaking from right to left to left to right to left to right in a never ending move.

The moans grew in volume.

"MMMMM! MMMMH!"

Carla felt a painful contraction in her heart.

_Is that what is it to be a mother? Feel the pain of our children? Become almost another person? To not think about us at first but think about the wellbeing of our children before anything else?_

"Agah!"

Carla jumped and took instinctively two steps back. A hand covering her mouth to muffle the scream that had begun to come out of her throat.

Beata had opened her eyes. And without a second of hesitation, she had found her mother's eyes. Beata stared at her mother. Unflinching.

The staring game had begun again.

Carla forgot all maternal thinking and fled out of the room.

_BOUMBOUMBOUMBOUMBOUM_

Mother and daughter, each in a different room, remained petrified.

Carla was terrified.

Beata had opened her eyes for the first time.

.

_there was her and there was the bawling monster. _

_Whenever the world stopped swirling in an excess surplus of touch, sound, smell, vision and** life**,** the battle raged**._

_LEAVE ME ALONE_

_she didn't know if she was talking, if she moved, if she was doing something. She knew two things, or rather something that led to another: the pain and a comforting numbness._

_It was a screaming battle._

_There was the howling of the monster and its stubbornness and her angry shouts who could become sometimes desperate wailing._

_They were together. All the time._

_She knew they were a single entity but she refused to share. She wanted to get out._

_The howling monster seemed to be in pain. He bawled all the time. _

_But she knew that if she stopped to stand up to the howling monster, she would disappear._

_An omen that the howling monster seemed to know too. _

_So, the pain kept getting stronger. The noise also._

_They needed to in harmony if they wanted the pain to stop but at the same time they could not stop. _

**_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_**

**_(The only sound she knew)_**

_There was no way to communicate so there was no harmony and yet, the monster stopped bawling. Suddenly__. _

_She took__ control._

Beata had become another person.

* * *

**Author.N: ** Hello there (: hope the reading didn't hurt too much your eyes and was understandable. The OC is confused too so there is a reason why it was written this way. I will love to have some advice or suggestions. To hear your opinions. I will gladly take any help to improve my writing _and_ my English. (it's a shy and an insecure writer who is the author of this story :3) And I was thinking about having a beta reader sooo if anyone is interested contact me!

And I would like to know if you spell it like Jäger or Jaeger? Jäger has more a deutsch connotation in my point of view

Don't hesitate to drop a review (:


	2. covering my eyes

_a quiet darkness_

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin**

* * *

**Houses — Big Light**

* * *

_PEVAR_

* * *

"Pa...ba...Bapapa!"

A happy laughter echoed in the kitchen. Smiling, Carla continued to rub the plate with a towel. Once she had put the plate with the rest of the cleaned dishes, she threw a glance over her shoulder, the ends of her hair that she had tied earlier scratching her cheek.

Beata was lying on her belly. Awkwardly, she raised herself with her arms and hands.

She started making bubbles with her saliva. By the tips of her fingers, she touched the bubble that her mouth had done.

The bubble busted.

Beata began to giggle happily.

Carla's smile widened.

.

After that night of terror where Beata had awakened her by her lack of cry, the life in the household had changed. There was no more crying fit or angry tantrum. There was only a baby who kept moving each member and crawling on the floor. A _relaxing_ baby.

Oh, Carla often raised or turned her brown eyes to find her daughter's eyes on her but she thought less about it. (_Her fingers had stopped shaking now_.) She thought less about it because, excluding this strange staring habit of her, Beata was a perfect little girl.

.

* * *

"Hello, Grisha. Everything went well?"

She greeted her husband with a happy smile, small wrinkles appearing by the corner of her closed eyes.  
Grisha gave her a tired smile. He adjusted his glasses with his forefinger then stepped forward to give her a kiss on the forehead as usual.

"Babababaaaaa."

A babbling. Then a laugh.

Grisha eyebrows shot up, he looked surprised to see his daughter crawling on the kitchen floor. She continued to giggle happily and—

"Watch out!"

— she banged her head against the table leg.

"Oh no! Beata!" Carla exclaimed anxiously, already running towards her daughter.

Carla fell to her knees and gently took the head of her daughter in her hands. She laid Beata's small head on her thighs and began to caress the tuft of brown hair mechanically.

Carla looked at him with teary eyes. He forced his shoulders to relax and sat down next to his family.

Grisha's hand touched hesitantly the back of the skull of his daughter.

"Bababa ... Pabapa!"

A childish giggle.

Beata stopped covering her head into her mother's apron and smashed her cheek against it instead. The eyes of the father and the daughter met. Beata stopped giggling.

Grisha let his hand fall to the ground.

Beata furrowed her few eyebrows, looking at him with confusion.

"Beata?" Carla whispered confusedly .

Grisha sighed, a sad smile forming on his lips.

"It looks like she doesn't recognize her father."

"_Ah_."

.

The next time, Grisha brought with him a straw doll.

It didn't stay clean for long.

* * *

_PEMP_

* * *

She had fled. Or rather the bawling monster had fled.

There was only her, she had taken control.

She was Beata now.

.

That was her hands.

Beata waved her arms.

That was her fingers.

She couldn't move them.

She tried again pouting.

She couldn't do it.

Her vision was blurred now. It was too warm here.

"Oh, no. Beata! Don't cry," coaxed the gentle voice of her mother. "Mommy is here, what's wrong?"

She had now a new mother — "**_GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"_** — and it was hard to accept but there were these smiles, these soft hands and this motherly voice was always around her. Gradually, the memories of the old mother stopped — "**_SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT IT"_** — to surface every time her new mother — **_"YOU'RE GOOD FOR NOTHING, YOU HEAR ME? YOU'RE ONLY A FILTHY LITTLE SHIT!"_** — took care of her.

There were these words which were every time on the tip of her tongue but she could only babble and she didn't know this new language.

"I'll be a good girl, Mommy."

Because for her it was that being the child of someone: we must bring happiness to our parents.

.

* * *

C'HWEC'H

* * *

"Carla, we have to move."

"Where?"

In the Shinganshina district."

"Huh? Why? We were finally fitting right here."

Grisha sighed. The hard lines of his wife's face didn't relaxed.

"There is an epidemic there. I need to go."

"And Beata? Her health would be endangered!"

"She will go to the Smith until everything calms down. Carla, you know that I have to do it," he tried to reason her.

But she continued to frown, her brown eyes glaring at the table on which she had turn her gaze to not glare at her husband.

"Carla," Grisha blew .

"Okay. But you'd better deal with this epidemic quickly. I didn't give birth to a girl to abandon her to strangers."

Grisha's face relaxed at the determined eyes of his wife.

"I know..."

.

* * *

.

Beata looked up at her mother. Carla smiled and playfully began to swing their attached arms.

Beata started to giggle. Her eyes were sparkling and Carla's smile widened at this sight.

Tomorrow, Carla and her husband would have to leave for the Shinganshina district. Tomorrow she wouldn't have to Wake up and go to her daughter's room to wake her up. Tomorrow, she won't need to have eyes at the back of her head to reach and to reach her ears for every little sound. Tomorrow, she won't be really be a mom. And that for a little while.

"Beata, you'll be a good girl, right sweetie?"

Beata nodded eagerly.

"Mom won't be there to watch you so you'll have to be nice with the Smiths."

"Yes, Mom!" Beata said with serious eyes. "Beata will be nice!"

"You'll have not forgotten—"

"Ma'am."

Startled, Carla looked up to the man who had stopped in front of her. He had his arm extended toward her, and in his hand he had paper.

"For the future of mankind."

She took the paper he handed her without a word, not daring to refuse. Seeing the solemn air of the soldier — he had the two roses of Garrison on his uniform— she couldn't find her voice.

"Thank you."

She watched the man turn his back on her to stop other passersby.

"Mommy, what is it?"

The shrill voice of Beata tore her from her thoughts.

The brown eyes of her daughter were staring at her with childlike curiosity. Carla didn't' smile.

"It's nothing, Beata."

Beata pouted. Carla forced a smile to her lips.

"Come on, we have to hurry! The Smiths must be worried!"

"Eh?"

Carla started running as best she could with her skirt, pulling a hilarious but Beata surprised behind her.

"Come on Beata! You're going as fast as a snail!"

"Mommy," Beata whined . "You're going too fast!"

A laugh escaped from Carla's lips, and in an awkward move, she took Beata in her arms.

"It's better like this?"

"Too slow!"

Carla forced herself to run faster, ignoring the stares of passers-by on her.

The propaganda's paper to join the ranks of the army was pressed between her hand and the back of Beata.

.

* * *

.

"Here we are."

They arrived way too soon to her liking.

Carla placed Beata on the floor. Her arms were _heavy_.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"You no knock?"

Carla sighed and gave a small smile to her daughter who was looking at her with interrogative eyes. She knocked on the door.

The door opened immediately.

Carla stared at the teenager with startled eyes.

"Hum..."

The clear blue eyes of the blonde adolescent showed no emotion.

"I am the nephew of Mr. Smith."

"_Ah_, okay," Carla laughed uneasily . "I didn't think about it. Your uncle is here?

"Yes, ma'am. He's coming."

"Oh, okay..."

A silence settled. Carla twisted her mind to find something to say.

"What do you have in your hand?"

Carla's eyes widened in surprise and she looked down at the crumpled paper in her hand.

"This? It's just a paper that a soldier gave me. Nothing important," she ended with a polite laugh.

"Can I have it?"

"Uh, yes. Of course."

She handed him the paper and watched him with curious eyes as he scan the sheet with seriousness. That was _very_ strange, usually young people of Rose Wall, especially those of this village, weren't interested in the army. But the famous nephew of Smith wasn't originally from the Sina wall?

"Um, can I ask why you are so interested?"

She almost regretted having interrupted him. His face betrayed nothing but cold politeness but the eyes of this young boy said something else.

"I would like to integrate the forces of the army."

"Really?"

He nodded.

"Yes, actually I was just looking for the nearest training center."

"Oi, Erwin! You're not bothering Ms. Jaeger, huh?"

A robust hand rested on the shoulder of the young blond and the smiling face of the butcher Smith appeared over the shoulder of the blond.

"Hello Carla! It's been a long time since I saw your face!" the butcher Smith growled in his deep voice.

A polite smile stretched his lips Carla.

"Hello Edmund. My husband came to drop off Beata's stuff already?"

"Yeah, he seemed eager to pop to Maria Wall!"

Carla continued to smile.

"And it must be your daughter, the famous Beata!"

"Yes, here she is," Carla joked .

Both adults and the adolescent looked down to the little brown haired girl who was clinging with one hand to her mother's skirt. She gave them a shy smile.

"Say hello Beata," Carla told her, putting a hand on the top of the head of her daughter.

"Hello."

Edmund Smith started laughing jovially.

"Here is one that has good manners! Don't you think Erwin?"

Edmund Smith shook the shoulder of the teenager who, despite being shaken in all directions, kept his composure.

"That's right, Uncle Edmund."

Edmund Smith replied with a cheerful laugh, his bright smile revealing his teeth. Carla giggled. Erwin continued to stare straight ahead, ignoring his loud uncle.

"Okay, enough joking!" Edmund Smith boomed while keeping his bright smile. "Erwin go to show the house to little Beata. I think Dr. Jaeger told me you had some things to tell me, Carla!"

"Oh yes! It's about—"

.

* * *

Erwin Smith ... She _knew_ that name.

Beata continued to trot behind the tall form the nephew Edmund Smith who pointed out to her each room. Everything he did screamed seriousness.

But she didn't know this blond teenager. She had never seen him before.

Beata furrowed her eyebrows.

She... she knew an Erwin Smith. But...

The images were blurred in her mind.

... It was an adult.

"Do I have to carry you to go upstairs?"

She nodded. He took her in his arms.

But ... she didn't know any adults except her mommy and her father. And yet she knew an Erwin Smith...

But from where?

He was holding her the wrong way. Not close enough to his chest for her to be comfortable.

She lifted her head and stared at him with a pout. He was staring straight ahead with a stoic face.

"Who are you?" she asked in a small voice.

He replied without looking at her.

"I'm Erwin Smith."

"But you're ... _not old_," she pouted.

He looked down at her, his thick eyebrows raised.

"I don't think I've ever been older."

She put her left cheek against the torso of the teenager, not wanting to look at him. He made her want to ... _scream_. To throw a tantrum.

"And here is your bedroom."

"What is the paper that mom gave you?" she asked suddenly, raising her head to look at him.

"A paper recruitment. To join the army."

Beata frowned, not understanding.

"Why?"

"For the future of mankind."

She had heard this somewhere ... but her memories were still unclear.

"Why?"

"To eliminate the titans."

"Titans?" she repeated. "What is it?"

At this, Erwin raised his eyebrows.

"The Titans are giants who made us hide behind our walls to prevent the extinction of the human race. Your parents didn't teach you this?"

"No," pouted Beata, seeing his judging eyes.

"This is ... _interesting_."

"Interesting?"

"Interesting but worrying. The people of this district are really naive."

"Naive? What is it?"

He didn't answer her, appearing to be deep in thought.

Beata struck his chest with her little fist. She didn't like to be ignored. And still, he didn't pay her any attention.

"The exploration battalion will be the most obvious choice," he muttered.

She stared at him with an annoyed frown.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"You're mean to me!"

The two stared at each other during ten long seconds, then he straightened her in his arms so that one of his arm could be free.

He gave her the crumpled paper. She grabbed it awkwardly.

"This thing is a Titan. Or maybe not, only the exploration battalion knows how a titan looks like."

* * *

_I know this _thing_. I've seen it before._

* * *

Beata yawned.

Her eyelids were heavy_ heavy_. Her thoughts were heavy_ heavy_.

"Do you want to sleep? I'll put you to bed, then. But your mother will be disappointed that you—"

She fell asleep.

* * *

**Linkin Park - Iridescent Cover by Gavin Mikhail**

* * *

Carla put aside locks of hair from Beata's forehead.

"Goodbye Beata. Mommy will come back to get you soon."

[But Carla only came to fetch her one year later.]

* * *

_SEIZ_

* * *

.

.

"Oi, girl! You know how to count?"

She shook her head from right to left.

"Edmund, she's only four years old," the wife Smith sighed , exasperate. "You know that no one teach a child how to count so early!"

"Well duh, she will learn!" Edmund Smith growled , throwing an annoyed look at his wife. "I need a cashier now that Erwin has buggered to the freaking army! She will do just fine."

He looked at Beata. She blinked innocently at him.

"Girl! You'll be able to do it for uncle Edmund, eh?"

Beata nodded eagerly. Determined to help uncle Edmund.

["Beata, you must be kind to the Smith, honey"]

Edmund went to get a piece of paper and a pencil and sat down again at the kitchen table. Beata watched him do so with curious eyes.

"Well, that's a one."

_1_

"A two."

_2_

"A three."

_3_

"A four."

_4_

"A five."

_5_

And he continued to write until ten.

"Okay, now learn it and try to rewrite it."

Some numbers ringed a bell. 4, 5 and 8.

Her eyebrows furrowed while she began to try to redo the sketches uncle Edmund had done. She wrote in any order, focusing particularly on three numbers.

_458 485 548 584 845 854 845 845 845 845 845 845 845 845 845_

Beata didn't understand why _845_ seemed to be so important.

She knew it meant something.

"Beata, would you move over? I'm going to set the table."

Beata moved over. Her eyes couldn't stop to stare at Aunt Yvonne's bloody apron. She knew it was from the turkey that they were going to eat later but—

_Red. Blood._

She looked upon the paper.

_845_

* * *

_"Hannes! No! Mom is still there!"_

_"EREN! MIKASA! LIVE!"_

_Tears. Retained sobs._

_"Don't go..."_

_A big smile. Blank eyes. Debris of a house flying in the air._

_"**STOOOOOOOOOOOP**!"_

_Blood._

**_Death_**_._

* * *

.

"Beata? Why are you crying? Where does it hurt?"

"M-my ... my head," Beata sobbed , pressing her nails into her skull. "It hurts!"

* * *

_EIZH_

* * *

Beata's eyes were dark when Carla looked at her for the first time since a long year of waiting.

_Are you_ _seeing a ghost? It's because I left you alone for so long?_

Carla's belly was round. She was in her fifth month of pregnancy.

"Mom, I promise I'll be a good girl," Beata muttered .

Carla couldn't see the expression on the face of her daughter who had her head down. Her brown hair which now reached her shoulder blades was covering her face from prying eyes.

"I know Beta," Carla smiled gently while rubbing a lock of her daughter's hair between her fingers. "But you're already a good girl."

Beata's eyes became glittering. She sniffed and hid her eyes with the palms of her hands. She sniffed again, more loudly.

Carla's face became distorted when she heard her five year old daughter's sniff.

"Beata? Are you crying?" she shrieked incredulously. "Oh no no no, sweetheart! Mommy is here now! Mommy is not going to leave you now, pinky promise!" she coaxed.

Gently, she took the head of Beata in hers hands and placed it on her chest.

Beata continued to hide her face in her hands. Her cries were increasing and Carla's heart squeezed painfully.

"Mommy is here, Beata. Mom is here. She's not going to leave you," Carla repeated tirelessly while stroking the hair of Beata.

She rested her chin on top of her daughter's skull. Carla's eyes were filled with a quiet sadness.

_Is it me who gave her so much sadness?_

She kissed her daughter's forehead, feeling her own eyes moisten.

"B-but," Beata sobbed in a hushed voice, "but you are...You're going to...l-leave m-me!" she whined.

"Mommy promises she won't leave," Carla swore.

* * *

_But you **are** going to leave. You are going to leave **me** to go to _**Heaven**_._

* * *

When the carriage arrived at the Shinganshina district, Beata's small fists were clenched on her thighs.

_It's here that mommy is going to leave._

"And here is our new home!" Carla said happily , lowering her head to smile brightly at her daughter.

The two were holding hands.

Beata didn't answer to her mother's smile. She kept staring blankly at their new home.

_It's this house that will kill mom._

"Do you like it?"

"Yes...," Beata whispered .

"And this is where your little brother will born! So we have that his room is very _very_ nice, eh Beata?"

"Yes Mom!"

Beata tore her eyes away from the house to smile happily at her mother. That smile that made crescent moon of her eyes.

"Oh, Beata! You are sooo cute!" Carla cooed while dropping her hand from her daughter's hold to pinch her cheeks affectionately.

"_Mom_!" Beata moaned . She was feeling the fresh air on her gums! "It hurts!"

"So so sweet!"

"_Mom!"_

.

.

On 30 March 1935, the house of Jaeger was shaken by a newborn crying.

Eren Jaeger was born.

"Beata, the role of a big sister is very important! You must protect your brother from all the evil things, okay?"

"Yes Mom!" Beata said seriously while holding her little finger to her mother. "Pinky promise!"

Carla giggled happily and bent down to join her little finger to her daughter's.

"Pinky promise," she giggled.

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_"No one is going to touch them."_

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**A. Note:** Hello again (: Second chapter posted! Hoping it was pretty interesting and not too predictable (: I would be so glad to your opinion on Grisha, on Carla, on Beata (or maybe the relationship of these two!) and on the Smith's family! We even had an appearance of a teen! Erwin Smith ^^

What do you think about this quick hello?

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Many thanks to **Kimmu Ikisayomi** for reading and reviewing: I hope this chapter was less confusing and that you didn't have another brain fart (I've never seen this expression before, I find it kind of funny: p)

And also to **idontknow823** and to **Sleiwd** for following. I'm glad you took interest in this fanfiction ^^

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Thank you for reading and feel free to reviews!

**Reviews? :3** (this is what warms the heart and makes me want to give you more)


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